It is work that is very fulfilling, and very rewarding. I only wish I could do more. The children are so beautiful. The orphanage staff is so dedicated and caring. There are so many children in need. Whenever I go there, I can't speak without severe emotion and a lump in my throat.
As this place is to so many people, I consider the orphanage to be holy ground, shrouded in unimaginable pain and sorrow, and at the same time, in unimaginable hope and joy. Both lurk in the halls of this place, just out of sight, like demons and angels.
Demons and angels are, in everyday life to most people, a concept of fantasy. I hear about them in sermons, or in palliative missives or a morality warning on a Facebook or twitter post. They are thought of in times of reflection, or meant as a guide during those very few times during the day/week/year when our boundaries of ethics are tested.
For better or worse, I don't deal much with angels or demons, but rather have to just get to work, pay my bills, help with homework, and mow the lawn.
But at the Bengbu SWI, there is little doubt about the presence of such infinite and unknowable forces of Light and Darkness.
I myself have only been able to comprehend the amazing forces of Light. I have, on two occasions, been given the gift of fatherhood, and have been lucky enough to view the Light of happiness and joy. This has continued each day since 2001 and 2003, as I marvel and bask in the radiance of the two most beautiful girls ever to be born in China. I have also stood side by side amazing people who have saved children's lives, and who have risked everything, putting their lives on the line, in order to help children, and be a part of something that they themselves would not live to see. Such Faith has touched me so deeply, and has affirmed my belief in Light.
However, I have never seen nor have been touched by the Darkness, which has touched each of the children here.
At the Bengbu SWI, there is no need for reflective Facebook posts. There is no need for cheerful upbeat philosophical musings. The angels and demons walk the halls here. You can feel them. You can hear the wind as they move by. The hairs on your neck prickle with both the fear of your worst nightmare and the calm of your dearest Savior. The pulse quickens and the spirit soars when you see the children smiling at the nannies. Rusty, menacing daggers saw and tear your flesh to your heart, as you leave the room with the children's voices echoing in your head, keeping you from sleeping at night.
The pain, and peace, can be seen in each face.
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